Eridan: Be a Human.

[wweh]

(action: 1445 Mitchell, mid-afternoon)

[Eridan woke up... oddly, in one piece. The last thing he remembered was being split the fuck in half by Kanaya. Maybe it was that weird ghost bullshit that caused him to feel whole again, or maybe something else entirely. Not magic though. No way in hell it could be magic. That stuff's a load of musclebeast crap. So, he goes to get himself ready for the day... His normal clothes were missing. Rather odd, and they're rather ugly to him. His fear and anger only grow when he gets to the bathroom to get himself ready, noticing that he's an ugly shade of pink. Human pink. He screams rather loudly, as he runs out of the bathroom to figure out exactly what the hell is going on here.]


(phone, sometime later}

Alright, now who the fuckin' hell brought me back to life as a fuckin' pink human abomination! You're gonna fuckin' pay for it! Leave me your name so I can go for you fuckin' first when I smite all you landdwellers! If you think you can be desecratin' such royalty by makin' me some kind of ugly pink human alien, you've got another thing comin'!

Comments

[action]

[bombbrat]

[son of a BITCH what was that. He yells out into the hallway.] Oi! What the fuck are you screaming about?!

Re: [action]

[misterwwizard.livejournal.com]

I'm one of you!

I don't even have my fuckin' fins anymore!

Re: [action]

[bombbrat]

...the fuck are you talking about? What fins?!

[Phone]

[roadroller]

[man usually Rin's the first to welcome nonhumans turned human to tell them how they'll go back to being nonhumans, but this guy sounds like a prick...]

You don't scare anyone! ♪

[misterwwizard.livejournal.com]

You're a filthy glubbin' liar! Nothin's fuckin' scarier than an angry sea troll!

[roadroller]

Oh really? What makes a sea troll scarier than normal trolls? ♪

[phone]

[nosoul-nomind.livejournal.com]

["Brought back to life"? Interesting.

But let's have some Barton-brand wisdom first:]

Better an "ugly pink human" than dead, if you ask me.

Re: [phone]

[misterwwizard.livejournal.com]

Do you know how beneath me it is to be a land dweller instead of a majestic sea troll? I'd rather be dead, honestly!

[nosoul-nomind.livejournal.com]

[Hey, Eridan. This is one land dweller who is snickering at you quietly. Because "majestic sea troll" conjures up some pretty hilarious images to her.]

Well that's too bad. Cuz Mayfield likes to level the playing field.

action;

[un-beau-coquin.livejournal.com]

[He just comes home when he hears an awful racket. He slams the door shut to let the apparently non-droned member of his household know of his presence.]

Monsieur, I zhink it would be of your best interest if you kept your voice down.

[misterwwizard.livejournal.com]

Who the fuck are you? Some kind of human lusus?

[un-beau-coquin.livejournal.com]

I am, according to zhis place, your "fazzer". If you are looking for a name, you may call me Spy. I will not inquire about zhe zhing you 'ave just called me, for I do not care. Just quiet down; if you 'ave any questions, I suppose I could answer zhem to zhe best of my ability.

phone

[echidna]

[ Wow this guy sounds so familiar, and the pink human alien makes it even more so.

He also sounds like a douchebag. Hmmm... ]

We can hear you just fine, stop yelling!

[misterwwizard.livejournal.com]

Well well, if it isn't miss believes-in-such-stupid-things-as fate? I knew you'd be crawlin' right back to talk to me the moment I showed up here!

What the hell is this place?

[echidna]

[ Ugh. Now she knows who she's talking to. ]

Why should I even tell you? Maybe you should figure it out for yourself!

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Fuck!

You? Are you fucking kidding me? Okay, I've kind of accepted this place's decisions using me as their own personal convenient receptacle for whatever cascading vomit waterfalls its decided to send my way each morning, but you take the fucking grubloaf!

Wait, no, I changed my mind! This is great! Enjoy your new squishy pink self while it lasts, fuckass, because it's going to be expertly carved into tasteful douchebag slivers any time I happen to feel like it.

What point on the timeline are you from, shit can?

[misterwwizard.livejournal.com]

Oh hi Kar, comin' on strong as usual I see! That death threat was just oozing with the blackness. Well, fillin' my fuckin' quadrants is the least fuckin' important thing on my mind right now!


Last thing I remember is that Kan sawed me the fuck in two.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Yooooooo, that be my motherfuckin' fishbro's voice what all up in this miracle audio tube and shit? Uhhhh, my bad if it ain't.

[misterwwizard.livejournal.com]

[He freezes when he hears Gamzee's voice... Even though it was his normal, chill motherfucker self. It was the last voice he really wanted to hear. After a few moments, he finally gets the courage to speak]

Gamz, this audio tube clearly isn't some kind of fakey bullshit miracle...

phone

[mothersome.livejournal.com]

_{[ Yes. ]}

Oh dear.

_{[ Yes, she has no clue... ]}

Would it hurt to consider the possibility of your derogatory remarks derailing the original focus of your inquiry?

[misterwwizard.livejournal.com]

[Another voice he didn't want to hear... his nervousness is very apparent, as much as he tries to hide it. the reciever is shaking in his hands. He oes his best to play nice.]

H-hi Kan... Well, I d-did think of that... but I need to let whoever is doin' this fuckin' crazy not magic shit to cut it the fuck out!

[putmeinstitches.livejournal.com]

[HE'S LAUGHING HIS HEAD OFF AT YOU. OH GOD THIS IS THE BEST REACTION HE'S SEEN YET TO SOMEONE BEING TURNED HUMAN.]

Consider yourself desecrated! Ha ha ha ha ha!

[misterwwizard.livejournal.com]

Better not be fuckin' mockin' me there, else I'll think you're responsible for it!

phone

[thespidertroll.livejournal.com]

[Cackle, cackle.]

Having fun with your new, human self? Hope so! You're gonna be like that for a whiiiiiiiile.[COMMENCE TROLLING.]

[misterwwizard.livejournal.com]

Of course I'm having fun, but here you come to ruin my parade as usual.

Figured you'd come fuckin' crawlin' back the moment I turned human.