Eridan: Be a Human.

[wweh]

(action: 1445 Mitchell, mid-afternoon)

[Eridan woke up... oddly, in one piece. The last thing he remembered was being split the fuck in half by Kanaya. Maybe it was that weird ghost bullshit that caused him to feel whole again, or maybe something else entirely. Not magic though. No way in hell it could be magic. That stuff's a load of musclebeast crap. So, he goes to get himself ready for the day... His normal clothes were missing. Rather odd, and they're rather ugly to him. His fear and anger only grow when he gets to the bathroom to get himself ready, noticing that he's an ugly shade of pink. Human pink. He screams rather loudly, as he runs out of the bathroom to figure out exactly what the hell is going on here.]


(phone, sometime later}

Alright, now who the fuckin' hell brought me back to life as a fuckin' pink human abomination! You're gonna fuckin' pay for it! Leave me your name so I can go for you fuckin' first when I smite all you landdwellers! If you think you can be desecratin' such royalty by makin' me some kind of ugly pink human alien, you've got another thing comin'!

Comments

phone

[echidna]

[ Wow this guy sounds so familiar, and the pink human alien makes it even more so.

He also sounds like a douchebag. Hmmm... ]

We can hear you just fine, stop yelling!

[misterwwizard.livejournal.com]

Well well, if it isn't miss believes-in-such-stupid-things-as fate? I knew you'd be crawlin' right back to talk to me the moment I showed up here!

What the hell is this place?

[echidna]

[ Ugh. Now she knows who she's talking to. ]

Why should I even tell you? Maybe you should figure it out for yourself!

[misterwwizard.livejournal.com]

Well, if you do remember, I gave you a pretty fuckin' awesome family heirloom. Now's about the time to be repayin' me for my generosity!

[echidna]

You mean that stupid piece of junk? I'm not repaying you for anything, let alone that.

[misterwwizard.livejournal.com]

You obviously don't know how to handle such a majestic weapon. See if I do anythin' nice for you again! You should be grateful I gave you such an awesome piece of equipment!

Hmph. No wonder why you're havin' trouble with your fuckin' quadrants. Can't handle a man's fuckin' rifle.

[echidna]

What is wrong with you?!

[misterwwizard.livejournal.com]

That's what the fuck I'm wonderin' about you.

Can't take a good fuckin' thing when they see it nope.

[echidna]

There's nothing wrong with me! I don't have to kiss your ass because you made some stupid crap!

[misterwwizard.livejournal.com]

It's not crap!

[echidna]

Crap, crap, the biggest fucking piece of a crap I've ever seen!

[misterwwizard.livejournal.com]

More like you're the biggest piece of carp for not recognizin' the fuckin' greatness of Ahab's Crosshairs!

[echidna]

Oh, sorry, I couldn't hear you over the sound of how shitty your stupid rifle is!

[misterwwizard.livejournal.com]

You're shitty! Stupid fuckin' human believin' in fuckin' fakery like fate.

Seriously I'm startin' to fuckin' regret hittin' on you.

Though I mean, we've got a good thing goin' here. all of this fuckin' hate. We could work with this.

[echidna]

I don't think so! I already know about your hate quadrant and I am not interested.

[misterwwizard.livejournal.com]

Come on, you've got fuckin' troll royalty interested here. I don't think you'd find a better kisemesis anywhere else! Seriously. Cream of the fuckin' crop right here.

[echidna]

Uh, I guess that's something that's supposed to really flatter me but actually it's not flattering at all.

[misterwwizard.livejournal.com]

You'd make a pretty fuckin' good kisemesis for me is all I'm fuckin' sayin.

I mean we could have duels under the moonlight with our guns and shit i mean come on that's classic fuckin' blackrom right there.

[echidna]

I think you should stop talking to me!

[ Aaaand she hangs up. ]

[misterwwizard.livejournal.com]

[after a few minutes of him trying to talk on a dead line, he sighs.]